Art Ronzway

Welcome to the syllabus for "Conceptual Quirks & Upcycled Eccentricities: 50 Years of Gag-Artsy!"

I’m your instructor, Ron Gagliardi. Now, before we dive into Module 1, I should warn you: if you’re looking for high-brow, classical studio training, you’re in the wrong place. But if you’ve ever looked at a piece of discarded trash and thought, “Hey, that looks like a millipede,” you’ve come to the right course.

Here is what we’ll be covering over the next few weeks:

🎨 Course Modules & Syllabus

Module 1: The Art of Absolute Nothingness (Titles & Frames)

• Lesson A: Wall-Title Conceptualism

  • Why waste paint when words do the trick? We’ll study my famous local exhibition where we hung zero artwork—just titles on blank cardstock. You’ll learn how to write titles so convincing that local town council members can enter, get judged by actual art professors, and walk away with real prizes.

• Lesson B: Wallpapers of the World ("Victorian One" & "Modern Art One")

  • Why buy canvas when you have wall coverage? Learn to craft empty frames that force the viewer to appreciate whatever ugly wallpaper happens to be behind them.

Module 2: Pure Upcycled Absurdisms

• Lesson A: The "Al-Toys" Miniature Series

  • Don't throw away that Altoids tin! I’ll show you how to draw micro-landscapes inside the lid—trees, cloudscapes, maybe a tiny dog. (Normally $19.95, but for enrolled students, it’s practically free).

• Lesson B: Appliance Recycling & "Found Object" Naming

  • Take a metal tray your mother was about to toss out from her toaster oven, look deep into its metallic shine, and title it: "A Nice Reflection of You."

  • Turn a Clementine orange crate into a sentimental family portrait ("Daddy Daughter"), or grab an old iPhone plastic packaging tray and convince your audience it represents a mother and father with open, welcoming arms.

Module 3: Advanced Unpredictable Crafts

• Lesson A: The Art of "Balsage"

  • My custom-invented medium! Take thin sheets of balsa wood, soak them in water, twist them up with wire or rubber bands, and let them dry into random, warped shapes. The magic rule of Balsage: You don't get to decide what you're making. Once it dries, you just look at it until the shape tells you what it is.

• Lesson B: Anonymous Commercial Masterpieces ("Bear Downs")

  • I’ll tell you the story of how a Southington hardware company hired me to name their paper clamps ("Bear Downs") and design a logo stamped into thousands of them. You’ll learn the bittersweet thrill of having thousands of your art pieces sitting in offices across the country while absolutely nobody knows or cares who made them!