The “Senager” Diaries: A Gentle Creak into Old Age

Richard Reggie Smith Research/Editor Creative Commons Attribution (CC BY) 4.0

They tell you to embrace your golden years. What they don’t tell you is that those years come with a soundtrack: clicking knees, sighing backs, and the constant, low-level panic of not knowing where you left the clicker (the remote—for those of you still under 50 and feeling smug). Getting older is a strange adventure filled with unexpected humor and surprising moments that make you appreciate life in a whole new way.

Listening to the news is like looking in the mirror naked. You know there will be new developments tomorrow and you know you won’t like them.

The New Definition of “Getting Lucky”

In your younger days, “getting lucky” might have meant something entirely different. Now, it means walking into a room and actually remembering why you went there. It’s a small victory, but a victory nonetheless. Your joints become more accurate at predicting rain than your local meteorologist, and you find yourself bragging about your age just to watch people gasp in disbelief.

The wild Friday night you once dreamed of now looks like a cozy evening with 20/20 a hot coco and a brownie ( now a days your favorite brownies are legal). Your purse or pockets transform into survival kits packed with snacks, tissues, reading glasses, and a pillbox that suspiciously resembles a candy dispenser. Your back goes out more often than you do, and the only pole dancing you attempt is gripping the safety bar in the bathtub.

The Art of Aging Gracefully (or Not)

Aging means learning to laugh at yourself and the quirks that come with it. For example:

• Your birthday cake becomes a fire hazard because the candles cost more than the cake itself.

• At 9:00 PM, the phone rings, and the caller asks, “Did I wake you?” You reply, “No, I was just practicing for bedtime.”

• You face tough choices like whether to brush your teeth or take a nap first.

• I went to confession at St. Bridget’s. The priest asked for my sins. I said, “ I lied: I passed gas and blamed it on the dog. I had an impure thought: I looked at a beautiful woman and I wished I had her teeth. I was prideful: I saw a man my age walking down the aisle with a walker and thought, I can do that with just a cane.”

• I once went into an antique store, and they wouldn’t let me leave.

• I once went into Stop and Shop and found myself standing in the middle of the isle discussing options with myself for 15 minutes oblivious to the people who wanted to get by me.

The candles on a birthday cake now a days, takes two oxygen tanks and four Grand Children to blow out.

When Happy Hour Means Naptime

The phrase “happy hour” takes on a whole new meaning. Instead of cocktails and loud music, it’s a well-earned nap in the afternoon. Your get-up-and-go has quite literally gotten up and went. Your mind might still be in your 20s, but your body has its own plans.

You might find yourself wandering into an antique store and feeling like you never want to leave. A doctor’s referral to a specialist turns out to be archaeology, not cardiology. These moments remind you that aging is full of surprises, some funny, some frustrating, but all part of the journey.

Finding Joy in the Little Things

Despite the challenges, the golden years offer plenty of joy. You learn to appreciate:

• The simple pleasure of a quiet evening at home.

• The comfort of familiar routines and favorite snacks.

• The humor in everyday mishaps and forgetfulness.

• The satisfaction of outsmarting your own body, even if just for a moment.

• Handfuls of Tylenol Arthritis pain relief and other prescription drugs. At this age, whose counting?

  
  

Reading a book now a days can find you reading the same page for weeks if you don't have a book marker.

If you live long enough, you become a Senager—a senior teenager. You finally have the freedom you wanted when you were young and just as broke. You can nap whenever you want, the dogs and cats do, so you are just living a more natural life. And if you forget something embarrassing, or got upset with somebody, don’t worry—you’ll forget it again tomorrow and not realize that you are pissed at anyone. It's All Good.

So keep your joints lubricated. Keep your remote close. Be kind to your children—they’re the ones who will be choosing your nursing home. And remember: with old age comes wisdom… and hair in places that make absolutely no sense.